Help, Someone I Know Is Deconstructing (Part 1)

“So Jesus said to the twelve, ‘Do you want to go away as well?’ Simon Peter answered him, ‘Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God.’” (John 6:67-69)

You have heard it said, maybe online, in a text from a close friend, in a personal conversation, or over the phone: “I’m deconstructing.” A thousand questions may follow in your mind, the most prominent one being “What am I supposed to do?”

I have written the following to answer that question. In the next two Midweek articles I will explain what deconstruction is, some of the cultural factors that have contributed to its rise, the kinds of deconstructors you will meet, and what you can do to help.

1. What is Deconstruction?

In their helpful book, The Deconstruction of Christianity, Alisa Childers and Tim Barnett offer the following definition:

“Faith deconstruction is a postmodern process of rethinking your faith without regarding Scripture as a standard.”

As I will explain later, the word has a certain kind of built-in fluidity that makes a strict definition hard to articulate, but I think the framework provided above is helpful. 

As we think about the term and the movement it represents, there are some important things to note about deconstruction:

1. The mainstream understanding of deconstruction does not appeal to Scripture as an authority. That is not to suggest your deconstructing friends do not need to hear Scripture, but it is to say that one of the core problems with deconstruction is how it treats Scripture. As a side note, I want to say that this is why I think it is unwise to use the word deconstruct to talk about reexamining our beliefs in light of the Bible. That simply is not what deconstruction is. Re-examining our beliefs in light of the Bible is simply doing theology. 
2. Those who push deconstruction often utilize emotional appeals to make their arguments. Of course all of us are emotional creatures. But if you are trying to care for someone who is deep in the weeds of deconstruction, it is good to remember that what has seemed most persuasive to them may be incredibly subjective. A rational argument or two may not instantly win them over to being more comfortable with the claims of Christianity if their objections to Christianity are subjective.  
3. Christianity is not just framed as unpersuasive, but often, immoral. If you are shocked because someone who used to attend church with you or even study the Bible with you is now offended if you bring up the Christian faith at all, you need to remember that it is possible they believe those who are questioning the claims of Jesus automatically have the moral high ground. Being prepared for these conversations involves acknowledging this is where your friends or family may be.
4. There is no well defined goal or end point. Derek Webb, a prominent musician in a Christian group talked about the goal of his own deconstruction as “permanent uncertainty.” This is common language in the deconstructing movement. It’s another reason that I think the adoption of the term to describe comparing beliefs to the Bible is so unhelpful.

2. What Factors May Explain Why Deconstruction Is on the Rise?

1. Distrust in authority is the mood of the day. Increasingly it is not just trust in the Bible or Christian orthodoxy that is waning among the new generations - but rather a lack of trust in anything. Of course, every worldview, even the most agnostic ones, have claims, and claims can only exist in an atmosphere of authority (ie something has to be said, by someone, and believed by someone else - or you don’t have a worldview). Secular worldviews have just as much of an authority structure as world religions - although they may be harder to see. But orthodox Christianity’s authority is harder to miss. To be a Christian is to believe claims, and to take those claims so seriously that one’s life is committed to them being true. There is no Christianity without claims, and claims don’t work without authority. To the degree that Christians are attracted to the spirit of the age, the trust in authority will be uncomfortable at the least.
2. The quest for the authentic self is increasingly important to many.  Carl Trueman has documented in this in our culture in his wonderful book The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self.  In this excellent work, the question of identity has always been “Whose am I?” the question today is “Who am I?” At the heart of Christianity is belonging to someone other than yourself. Paul summed it up nicely when he reminded the Corinthian Christians “You are not your own” (1 Corinthians 6:19). The individualistic quest to find the self is promoted and normalized everywhere, from songs to shows to movies. It’s in the air we breathe. So we should not be surprised that this assumption fits in quite nicely with the deconstruction ethos.
3. Online community can supplant real community. Much if not most of the arguments, or talking points for those deconstructing came to them in their online world. MIT professor Sherry Turkle, in her eye-opening work Alone Together documents that we are more lonely now despite the fact we have more ways to be virtually connected. By the way, that book is already fourteen years old. I do not bring up the prevalence of online community to shake my fist in the air and long for simpler technologically restricted days. Rather, I am pointing out something all of us already know: that what people see as normal or abnormal, beautiful or disgusting, persuasive or silly, plausible or implausible - in short their culture - will be affected by their community. If that community (at least in a Christian context) is largely made up of things like family, friends, and congregation, then you can expect one thing. But if that community is determined by an algorithm and experienced digitally in the main, then the culture that person experiences could be quite another thing entirely.

Next week, I will unpack the different kinds of deconstructors you will meet, and talk about how to help them.