One of the most helpless feelings in the world is watching someone you love walk through deep pain. Whether it’s sickness, loss, anxiety, disappointment, or a heavy trial, there’s something in us that wants to fix it. And when we realize we can’t, we often ask ourselves, “What can I even do?”

According to Scripture, one of the greatest things we can do is pray. And usually, when someone is suffering, we naturally pray for relief. We ask God to remove the burden, heal the sickness, restore the relationship, or calm the storm. There’s nothing wrong with that. Throughout Scripture, God’s people repeatedly cry out for deliverance, and we should too.

But I’ve been challenged recently by the way the Apostle Paul asks believers to pray for him in the middle of suffering. Paul knew hardship well. His ministry was marked by affliction, pressure, persecution, weakness, and suffering. Yet when he asks the Corinthians for prayer, he says, “You also must help us by prayer” (2 Corinthians 1:11). And as you read the surrounding verses, you realize Paul’s greatest concern was not merely escaping suffering, but trusting God through it. In verses 8–9, Paul says the trial became so heavy that he and his companions “despaired of life itself.” But then he explains why God allowed it: “But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.”

That is such an important reminder. Suffering can either push a person away from God or drive them deeper into dependence upon Him. The same trial that makes one person bitter can make another person humble, prayerful, and spiritually stronger.

It reminds me of sailing, which I’ve only read about. There’s not many opportunities for sailing in Southwest Kansas. But when you think about sailing, strong winds seem like they would only blow a boat one direction. However, experienced sailors know how to adjust the sails so that the very wind pushing against them actually moves them forward. In a similar way, suffering feels like a force pressing hard against our lives. But through faith and prayer, God can use that very suffering to push us closer to Him rather than farther away.

So when someone you love is hurting, yes—pray for healing. Pray for relief. Pray for God to intervene. But also pray this: “Lord, don’t let this suffering pull them away from You. Use it to draw them nearer.” Pray that they would trust God more deeply. Pray that they would discover God’s faithfulness in a fresh way. Pray that they would learn to rely on “God who raises the dead.” Pray that their suffering would not harden them, but soften them toward Christ.

Some of the sweetest promises in Scripture were given in moments of weakness and pain “Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go… For I will not leave you” (Genesis 28:15). “I will not turn away from doing good to them” (Jeremiah 32:40). “The LORD is righteous in all his ways and kind in all his works. The LORD is near to all who call on him” (Psalm 145:17–18).

Church family, one of the greatest blessings God can give any of us is not merely changed circumstances, but a deeper knowledge of Himself. Sometimes God calms the storm around us. Other times He strengthens the believer within the storm. But in both cases, His purpose is the same: to draw His people closer to Himself. So let’s continue praying for suffering people. Pray for relief, healing, and help.But also pray that through the pain, they would come to know and trust the goodness of God more than ever before.